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Maybe it's to easy to give an advice like this but I want to try.
After 20 years of fights against women (girlfriends), collegue, relatives, jobs, etc... I can say that we must be calm and not stressed, it is foundamental for a balanced life.
Every job is important, from the prime minister to the last worker. Don't be nervous and regretted about the past, live the present better you can so probably new possibilities will open in front of you!

Thank you for your message Rut. Finding an interesting and rewarding job is not so easy, but people say it is never too late to study. Have you thought about going to university? There are many options now: you can do part-time degrees or degrees online.. there are many possibilitie...
Take care!
Pieter

My problem is that I don't know how to get people really konw me. I explain, I give a security and hapiness image that is not real, or not completely real... I am not unhappy, but there are things in my life that I would like to change, I have always regretted not having studied and the jobs I have ever had liked. I never talk about this with my family or friends because I don't know or want to do it. If they ask me about it I quickly change the conversation, it certainly affects me a lot about self-confidence.