Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary
: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Mother: How do you like your new teacher?
Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one!
Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel well
Father: Where don't you feel well?
Son: In school!