- A man calls the fire department and says, "Yes, I have just had my front yard landscaped, I have a nice new flower bed, a new fish pond with a fountain and a new rose garden."
"Very nice," the firefighter says, "but what does that have to do with the fire service?"
"Well," the man answers, "the house next door is on fire and I don't want you to trample my front yard."
- "Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"