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If you can, adapt your daily routine to your daughter’s emotional demands, but follow your instinct.

mkorhone wrote:
> If you can, adapt your daily routine to your daughter’s emotional demands,
> but follow your instinct.
Your baby is so small yet that she demands her mother. In addition it is easier to you to take care her only without trying to work hard. You need rest yourself too. I believe you can work enough later on.

2. Giving your advice.

What advice would you give for any of these problems?

Our four-year-old refuses to sleep in her own bed. In fact, she won't sleep anywhere unless she sleeps with us. We have tried everything and we are desperate.
I have three children and all of them have slept with us. Our daughter was two-year-old when she wanted to sleep her own bed. Our son slept with us as long as he was 10-year-old. Now our daughter (seven-year-old) sleep with us. I do not think that it is any problem. Of course I need also time with my spouse but in this case we have videos and other entertainments.


My seven-year-old son has never been dry at night. My friend says he must have some emotional problem and I should take him to counselling.
Your friend can be correct. It is important to speak with a doctor or a psychologist about this problem. Your child may suffer much and his friends can bother him badly. Therefore it is time to do something before your son must suffer more.

I have a five-month-old baby who I have been breast-feeding. Recently I started her on solid food, but she eats very little. I am worried that she is not getting enough.
Maybe you could continue breast-feeding. In Finland breast-feeding is suggested the hole first year. I think it takes time to used to solid food.

My two-year-old boy gets uncontrollably angry and starts screaming at the worst possible times, like in the grocery store.
It is quite normal that a two-year-old child is sometimes quite bad-tempered. Of course if it happened very often you must think why he is so angry. Is he tired, hungry... If there is any good reason you could contact to a doctor.

Our five-year-old often talks obsessively, and does not seem to listen when spoken to directly. What’s more, he seems to get easily distracted when doing the simplest task.

It is better to contact to a doctor. Maybe your child has ADHD or he has austism. In this case he needs help as quick as possible.

Wow, great advice! I don't have any children, so I don't really know. But your advice sounds very convincing!
Some suggestions:
with us as long as he was 10-year-old.=.. until he was 10 years old. Is that what you mean?
and his friends can bother him badly. = You need a verb here: to tease. "He might get teased at school".
If there is any good reason you could contact to a doctor. = You mean: If there ISN'T a good reason you SHOULD contact a doctor.
Good work!
Pieter

Hi Pieter,
and many thanks for your advices.
Nice autumn to you.

Best regards Maarit

The behaviour of your five-year-old might correspond to a child affected by ADHD. But there could also be many other explanations. Sometimes we tend to compare our children with other people's ones and if they don't meet our expectations we feel frustated and start thinking that our child may have some kind of mental disorder. On the other hand, if you are really concerned about your child, the best you can possibly do is take himas soon as possible to a doctor to rule out any major problem.

Exactly, that sounds like very good advice! Thanks Luisja.

In my oppinion, rethink the priorities is the solution, but as a whole family matter. I believe that a couple must rethink seriously their priorities before deciding to have a child, and perhaps to face the fact that the mother should have to choose between the new born and her work, in order to dedicate her time to her son first years, when he or she needs her attention and care. Otherwise the mother will lose the most crowning moments of the child developement, that will be shared with the nany. For me this is the actual sense of motherhood, and it's worth.

Do you have children Herminia, And did you stop working when they were small? I think what you say makes sence, unfortunately not all families can afford this option...
See you!

No, my partner and me decided not to have children, and one of the main reasons was precisely this matter: We were not able to dedicate enough time to their growing up and we needed to work, as well. So we made up our minds. I mean, to have a children is not an obligation,should be a wise decition instead of an unaware,nowadays, but if you have them you'd better to enjoy them being able to share their company, games,troubles, successes ...Otherwise, you'll became only the one who pays the phares. It's only my oppinion

Giving advice:
1. Our four-year-old refuses to sleep in her own bed. In fact, she won't sleep anywhere unless she sleeps with us. We have tried everything and we are desperate.
In this case, maybe you should maintain the ban to your child of sleeping on your bed with your husband and you. If you stand it, finally she will accept it.

2. My seven-year-old son has never been dry at night. My friend says he must have some emotional problem and I should take him to counselling.
Because this is a problem that he cannot control, you should consider to deduct importance to this question and give to your child more confidence (for instance, he can use diapers in the night and keep it “as a secret” between you and he) and help him to get a better self-esteem. This is a problem that can last until he will be 12.

3. I have a five-month-old baby who I have been breast-feeding. Recently I started her on solid food, but she eats very little. I am worried that she is not getting enough.
Perhaps, you may continue feeding your child with mash and introduce solid little by little. At least, you don´t have to worry if she loses weight.


4. My two-year-old boy gets uncontrollably angry and starts screaming at the worst possible times, like in the grocery store.
If your child is having a tantrum in any place, what you may do is, first of all, not to lose the control of the situation. Then, you may say when he is not angry, you will listen and talk to him. The most important of this, if you want to change his behavior, is not to pay attention to his attitude and wait for a right one. When this occurs, then you have to say something positive about this change of attitude and give him a prize.

5. Our five-year-old often talks obsessively, and does not seem to listen when spoken to directly. What’s more, he seems to get easily distracted when doing the simplest task.
Perhaps you may give orders to your child one by one. For example, first you should ask your child to pick the toys up. When it is finished then you might express joy and then give him another order (now, let´s take a shower).

Thanks for your great advice Soledad! Do you have children yourself? You sound like you know what to do ihn these situations :)
Pieter

Oh,yes. I have twins, a boy and a girl. They are 12 now and I have experienced all the above situations.
I am also a infant and primary education teacher and I have to face these situation every day.

Regards

Soledad

Oh I see, thanks Soledad- So this is the advice from a professional! Good work, see you again soon!
Pieter

By the way Soledad - what do you think of those Super Nanny programmes on TV? Do they give good advice ?
Bye,
Piter