Potty training?
A. Assess your child's readiness — and your own
When your child is about a year old, she'll be able to begin to recognize that she has a full rectum or bladder. Some children are ready to start potty training as early as 18 months, while others aren't interested in the process until after the age of 3. Many parents begin potty training when their children are about 2 1/2.
Since there's such a wide age range when your toddler may be interested in potty training, watch for signs that your toddler is ready to start:
Can she follow simple instructions?
Can she walk and sit down?
Can she take her pants off and put them back on?
Try not to put on the pressure – rushing her when she's not ready will be counterproductive. And don't expect this child to have the same timeline as your older child. Boys tend to train a bit more slowly than girls, while second (and subsequent) children may learn more quickly than firstborns.
Also consider the other challenges your toddler is dealing with now. If she's experiencing any turmoil or major change in her life, like a new school, caregiver, or sibling, the potty-training process is likely to hit some snags and should probably be put off until things have settled down.
There's also no sense in beginning potty training when you – or your child's primary caregivers – are too overwhelmed to devote time, patience, and a dash of humor to the process. Be prepared to take several months to potty-train and offer daily encouragement.
If you're in the middle of remodeling your house, have just taken a challenging new job, or are experiencing morning sickness with your next pregnancy, it's probably not a good time to try to potty-train your toddler. Wait a couple of weeks – or months – for other pressures to ease.
B. Buy the right equipment
First and foremost, invest in a child-size potty chair or a special adapter seat that attaches to your regular toilet. This eases the anxiety some children feel about the grown-up toilet – some fear falling into it, others dislike the loud noise of the flush.
Figure out what equipment is best for your toddler before you go shopping, then ask your child to help you pick a potty chair out. Once you get the special chair home, write his name on it and encourage him to play with it.
If you're buying a potty chair for your son, look for one without a urine guard or with a removable one. You may have to wipe up a little more stray pee, but the guards tend to bump into and scrape a boy's . when he sits on the potty, which can discourage him from training.
If you're using an adapter seat, make sure it's comfy and secure, and buy a stool to go with it. Your toddler will need the stool in order to get up and down from the toilet quickly and easily, as well as to brace his feet while sitting, which helps him push when he's having a bowel movement.
C. Create a routine
Set your toddler on the potty seat, fully clothed, once a day – after breakfast, before her bath, or whenever else she's likely to have a bowel movement. This will help her get used to the potty and accept it as part of her routine. If there's not an easily accessible bathroom around, bring your child's portable potty outside, to the playroom, or wherever she may be.
Once she's fine with this routine, have her sit on the potty bare-bottomed. Again, let her get used to how this feels. At this point, let her know that this is what Mommy and Daddy (and any older siblings) do every day – that taking off your pants before you use the bathroom is a grown-up thing to do.
If sitting on the potty with or without clothes is upsetting to your toddler, don't push it. Never restrain her or physically force her to sit there, especially if she seems scared. It's better to put the potty aside for a few weeks before trying again. Then, if she's willing to sit there, you know she's comfortable enough to proceed.
D. Demonstrate for your child
Children learn by imitation, and watching you use the bathroom is a natural way to understand what using the toilet is all about. If you have a son, it's simpler to teach him to pee sitting down at this young age. Later, when he's mastered that, he can watch his dad, older brother, or friend pee standing up – he's bound to pick it up quickly with just a little encouragement.
When you demonstrate for your toddler, it's helpful to talk about how you know it's time to go to the bathroom, then explain what's going on as you're using the toilet and let him see afterward what you "made." Then show him how you wipe with toilet paper, pull up your underwear, flush the toilet, and wash your hands.
Even though you'll be helping your toddler with these activities for some time, especially wiping after a bowel movement, seeing you do it and hearing you talk through it will help him get used to the whole process. (If your toddler is a girl, when you wipe her be sure to go from front to back, especially after a bowel movement, to minimize the risk of urinary tract infections.)
If your toddler has older siblings or friends who are potty-trained, consider having them demonstrate, too. It can be helpful for your child to see others close to his age exhibiting the skills he's trying to learn.