How can I deal with my husband's being hooked on online flirting
we're 51, I work full time and were definitely married for 30 years, With two surfaced children one of them still living at home. The past ten years have been complex as my husband had to work 80 miles away, Living two lives as he splits the week between job area and home.
many years ago, with 50, He had a vintage midlife crisis (His ideas): New 'boy band' hair style, Jive courses ( without me), visiting the gym, Trendy suits, A second mobile and uniform dating.
I was so fearful I did all I could to cling on, As I know he was close to leaving for a very good. I dropped a few pounds, Paid proper care, went out with him more, used the silk nighties.
consequently, as part of 2008, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and my world was rocked otherwise 12 months of surgery, chemo, Radiotherapy and about hair loss. He appeared encouraging, But it's all a lie.
I discovered more online dating site and confronted him. He was remorseful and said hello was 'an escape, A fantasy' to help him deal with his job, My illness therefore forth.
I was too the wrong way, Too dependent on him to challenge this and chose to believe him.
a bit 18 months on, i've found him online dating again. I'm ruined. He's undermined our marriage all over again, But denies this is infidelity as he's 'just looking' and doesn't a single thing!
I disagree as I've read a little of the exchanges he says he's not married, Then right after get to a 'let's meet' point he doesn't go. Or so according to him.
I've lost all trust and can't tell truth from lies. over again he says he's sorry/depressed/addicted/escaping. I'm very hurt, But feel much stronger now, Both mentally and physically not afraid to say what I think and no longer desperate to appease him or indulge his excuses.
He's terrified I will tell our youngsters what he's doing (disgrace, man) And in his protection, He is trying for example, He booked us a perfect holiday, Suggested joint conventional therapy, Admitted it's an obsession, And is likely to cut his hours so he can be home nearly all week.
I suppose my real question is is this enough? I know he's found my surgery scarring difficult to be prepared for, But surely there's more to life than great boobs?
I cope with these body issues every day and my husband's clear rejection of me is very hard to take. I always thought we'd love some other whatever life threw at us.
I wish there was a way of making him realise what he is doing is wrong he needs a jolt into reality instead of living a fantasy. Do I reduce him again?BEL promises:
Although I believe that the proportions for forgiveness is all but endless, It is still a battle to reach the end of your letter and say: 'Yes, Val, Believe him yet again, Bowing your own once more so he can heap dirt on it.'
The 'jolt into reality' would come if you packed a suitcase for him and left it on the step. Or cut up those trendy clothes with a set dressmaking shears. Or use equal tool to cut the plug off his computer. (certainly, And I can think of another use, But we will never go there.) why is me really angry is the way he is making you feel about your body.
You endured breast cancer, Had surgery and all the painful medication and therapy, And now have the added punishment of realizing that he finds your scars 'difficult to come to terms with'. Oh the almighty, Forget packing the baggage put the lot on a bonfire. Let him walk censured and see how persuasive women find his ageing body!
experimenting [-censured-=https://www.bestbrides.net/adam4adam-review-just-fakes-or-real-dates/]adam4adam.com[/-censured-] online is a serious form of infidelity, And cannot be argued away because no *censured* transpires
Yet it's not so easy, would it be? You sound pleased that he's at least
Trying very late in the day to work on himself and help save wedding. You also make the beneficial point that you no longer feel so much his victim as before. You are getting to be a stronger woman, Perhaps through the very fact that you've had to handle a series of painful shocks
The first came when you discovered he was playing around online all decked out in his youthful hairstyle and kit. The second when you were revealed.
The third if you are, Despite all that you were experiencing, He could not keep away from the online dating sites.
nowadays, Fourth, He is back to his old ways and you have to accept the ending of your dream that together you would face up to whatever problems life threw at you. At this point now you ask not just whether or not you forgive him again, But also whether he can start to forgive himself.
The man is terrified of getting old and so he is acting the fool like so many before him. But nothing he does no clothes he buys or ladies he flirts with internet will halt the ageing process.
of course, playing around online is a serious form of infidelity, And cannot be argued away because no *censured* arises. First, He must accept both those distressing truths.
If he does think he has become addicted to websites then he should seek counselling for himself, As well as couple therapy with you.