JOKES AND PUNS

[Nuria Sabate]

I have found these jokes and puns in internet. I hope you'd like them

JOKE
THE HAPPINESS OF TWO MENTAL PATIENTS

Jon and Dan are in a mental institution which has an annual contest that picks two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they answer correctly, they are released.

Jon is called into the doctor's office first. The doctor says, "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"

Jon says, "I'd be half blind."

"That's correct. What would happen if I poked out both your eyes?"

"I'd be completely blind." The doctor tells him that he is free to go. On Jon's way out he tells Dan the questions and answers.

The doctor asks Dan, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"

Dan says, "I'd be half blind."

The doctor, slightly puzzled, continues, "What would happen if I cut off both your ears?"

"I'd be completely blind."

"Dan, how can you explain that you'd be blind?" asks the doctor.

"Well," replies Dan, "my hat would fall over my eyes."


PUN

They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.(crown is a circular decoration that a king wears on his head and also a cover that is used to repair a tooth)

[evaboe]

JOKES OF HAPPINESS
“A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late”. (The Joker is Wild, 1957)
“The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good”. Bertrand Russell

PUNS OF HEALTH
“Organ donors put their heart into it”
“Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now”.