Jokes and Puns + sites about happines
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:39 pmJOKES:
-Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
-A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing
God she asked, "is my time up?" God said "No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live!"
Upon hearing this, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone change her hair color.
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. She was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on he way home, she was killed by a car.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the car?"
God Replied, "I didn't recognize you."
PUNS:
-An unusual medical book is one which has no appendix.
-I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
SITES ABOUT HAPPINESS:
-http://www.happiness.com
-http://theartofhappiness.net
-Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
-A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing
God she asked, "is my time up?" God said "No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live!"
Upon hearing this, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone change her hair color.
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. She was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on he way home, she was killed by a car.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the car?"
God Replied, "I didn't recognize you."
PUNS:
-An unusual medical book is one which has no appendix.
-I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
SITES ABOUT HAPPINESS:
-http://www.happiness.com
-http://theartofhappiness.net