1- I think that number two is the best answer to the baby problem. It proposes different ways to solve the problem respecting both parents'way of living and baby's needs.
2- Giving advice:
- You might make her feel safe in her own bed by playing with her or reading next to her until she falls asleep.
- You may not allow him to drink a lot of water at dinner time and you may awake him in he middle of the night and lead him to the toilet.
- You should take her to the doctor and he will tell you if she is well fed.
- You might have to make him understand that he doesn't behave correctly and that he has no real reason to scream like that. You could also try to distract him with something that may interest him.
- You may take him to counselling. It can be nothing but it is always better to be sure.