Good evening,
I am totally convinced that the best option is the second one and I do think so just because it seems the most balanced one.
Telling a mother that she is not doing well as she works out sounds, at least, very old - fashioned. And the poor mother can feel very sad and guilty.
Telling a mother that she has to be strong to always say no to her daughter, regardless the specific situation sounds a bit hard for both mother and child.
But the second answer, fortunately, give them some handly advices as well as let her decide in every situation and trust herself. Moreover, she gets some usefull explanations about what is happening to her daughter so she can understand her.
Regards,
Elena.